Why DHL Sucks

I've ordered a number of things online over the past several years, and generally have had good experiences with both vendors and shipping services. As a rule, I usually will have things delivered to me at my work address so that an unattended box is not sitting on my front porch during the day, just waiting for some little shit to come steal it. That's not very likely in the neighborhood where we live now, but when I first started ordering online back in 2001, having a box stolen off our porch was very likely where we were living at the time.

After the New York Giants won the Super Bowl this year, I waited a few days before going online to order up a t-shirt commemorating their victory. It's a tradition in this country to attach our egos to sporting teams by wearing shirts like that, and this was one of those occasions where I fully wanted to participate in that tradition. The Wednesday after the Super Bowl I went the Giants' online store and ordered a championship t-shirt. I chose the shipping option that should have it in my hands in about ten days, and I wanted it delivered to my work address. My online order done, I patiently waited for my order.

And waited.

And waited.

After 10 days I logged back on the Giants' store to check the status of my order. It had shipped a couple of days after I had placed my order. To my dismay, the shipper was DHL. The tracking link gave even more bad news. My order had been delivered two days prior.

Of all the shipping services I've been subjected to, DHL totally sucks. When my sister-in-law signed me up for a microbrew beer club a couple of Christmases ago, it was DHL who delivered the boxes of beer--or tried to at least. Because of the nature of the packages, my beer deliveries required an adult signature. Did DHL attempt to deliver after 5 pm when an adult would be home? Hell, no! They tried to deliver most of my boxes around 11:30 in the morning. Farktards!

So with no t-shirt delivered to me but with a status stating that it had, I called DHL to find out where the hell my package was. The customer service rep was marginally cordial, and but surprised when I countered her claim that the package had been delivered and signed for. I had done my homework. Prior to calling them I had contacted the unit on campus that receives deliveries from various shipping companies. They had not received anything for me, and not only did the person who allegedly signed for the package not work there, there's no such person at all employed on this campus.

The next step was being transferred to the local office and a conversation with the manager there. He would contact the driver who delivered it and get back with me. A week later, I get a call back with an explanation that he delivered it to the central receiving office--the same people who had already told me they never received it. Then comes the kicker: he tells me they have to deliver there because they're not allowed to deliver on campus.

In the spirit of football, I'm throwing a flag on that play, the call: Bullshit! Twenty minutes ago we received in our department a shipment of four boxes. The company that delivered it? DHL. So much for not being allowed on campus. Crappy service and they lie like a cheap, seven dollar WalMart rug.

Eventually I got my money back, but the moral of the story here is, if you're ordering something online, make sure they don't ship via DHL. I'll never order from anyone who uses them. Now I have to go to New York to get my damned Giants Super Bowl championship t-shirt.