42*

It's that time of year again--my birthday's here whether I want it to come around or not. And I'm getting a pretty good present today: rain! Sounds kind of corny but consider I can almost walk from shore to shore in the river that's the main water supply for the town and we have less than a two months supply of water left, rain is greatly appreciated. I also got spacers put in around my upper molars, step one in the process of getting braces! Joy! I can't find the short video clip of Cartman singing "It's my birthday!" so I'm posting this clip below. Remember, it's uncensored South Park, so there's some potty mouth that some people might not like. Doesn't bother me a bit, though.

Gopher moat

Having grown up with the Super Friends/Wonder Twins cartoons like this, I find this one very funny. Hope you do too.

Avast, me hearties!

It's September 19, which means it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day! ARRRGGGH!!



And leave Blackbeard alone!

The Juice Ain't Loose

What do the following things have in common: OJ Simpson, a canker sore, a big ol' zit, Jehovahs Witnesses at your front door, Paris Hilton, and George W. Bush? They're all things/people you wish would go away but for whatever reason they simply don't. The only thing worse than a narcissistic sociopath who thinks he's a one-man police force kicking in doors and terrorizing memorabilia dealers with guns is a narcissistic sociopath who's gotten away with murder, as he's committed the worst crime imaginable and gotten away with it. A concept like culpability has no meaning to people such as OJ. When I was growing up OJ was one of my gridiron heroes. Now he's just a sad, pathetic man. True, OJ owes me nothing for my youthful admiration. But he's the reason why I no longer hold any professional athlete in any esteem.

Dance of the Notre Damned

Another Saturday of watching college football. A hint of fall weather moved in today, which is nice when one is watching college football. A few surprises and upsets: Kentucky beat Louisville, a weak Auburn got beat by Mississippi State. A few not-so-surprises: Florida beat up on Tennessee, USC stomped Nebraska. One treat today was watching the battle of the winless Michigan and Notre Dame. Can Notre Dame suck any more than they have? I mean, their offense has only generated six points in three games (the team's only touchdown coming from their defense) while their quarterbacks have been sacked fifteen times already. If I'm not mistaken, the ND offense has generated negative yardage in their first three games so far. I think a top notch quad-A high school team could take down ND right now. My dad was a Notre Dame fan, so he's probably spinning in his grave right now. And so is Knute Rockne.

OMFG

Another reason why I fucking HATE EMO!!! Yeah, it's a guy, or he was born a male. Somewhere along the way he lost whatever "testicular fortitude" he ever had. Time to go run a crimson bathtub, kid. Oh, and fuck you, you whiny little shit.

From our Department of WTF?

Meet Carlton Davis. Carlton, say HI to everyone, would you? Carlton has an appetite for sole food. No, that's not a typo, I said sole food. He was arrested in St. Paul, Minnesota for mugging a 24 year old female. After taking her purse and cell phone, Carlton announces to his victim, "Now I'm going to suck your feet," which he proceeds to do. And if his story wasn't strange enough, dig his mugshot. He looks like the love child of Wesley Willis, Coolio, and Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lion. Poor Carlton now faces a few felony charges for his deeds. Something tells me that once he's in prison, his eyes will become uncrossed after his first trip to the showers.

Crash and burn, baby, burn

Boy, for whatever reason the big news today wasn't General Petraeus' report on Iraq, but Britney Spear's "comeback" performance on the MTV video music awards last night. I saw a brief clip of it this morning on the news. She's gone from sexy Catholic schoolgirl outfits to slovenly staggering around stage like a sorority girl at last call on Ladies Night at the Viper Room. The video, if you're interested, is below. The noise you hear in the background is Britney's career being flushed down the toilet.



Now, if you want to see the real performance, click here. If you'd like to bid on a casket for her career, click here.

Story du jour

A number of our faculty members went out of town last week to a professional meeting in the midwest. Everyone who went spent plenty of time in airports waiting on their flights and luggage. One of them reported to me today that he had to make use of the restroom at one of the airports during his trip. As he went about the business of doing his business, someone in the bathroom yelled, "There aren't any U.S. senators in here, are there?"