How to tell when the budget is bad

In these trying economic times, it's hard for any of us to know how secure our jobs are. What job position is funded one day could be out in the cold the next. With mixed news on the employment front and word that employers may slow down their hiring practices in 2007, it's now more important than ever to have advance warning if your company is cutting back on its budget. I've worked long and hard on this quantitative methodology, and it applies to both the private and public sector. The key to determining the fiscal health of your employer can be summed up in two words:

Toilet Paper

Yes, I said toilet paper. I've determined this factor from simple observation over the past nine years with my current employer. Here are the details to work with.

When your employer is doing well fiscally, there is extra money to spend. Thus, if you find comfortable, 2-ply toilet paper adorning the walls of the bathroom stalls, things are going well at the moment. Enjoy!

However, when things are tight and budgets are being cut back, the quality of the toilet paper goes down. Around my office, tight budgets mean 1-ply toilet paper better suited for sanding off a layer of varnish from a tabletop than using on some of the more delicate parts of the human anatomy. The usual type of low cost toilet paper is the John Wayne brand: it's rough, tough, and doesn't take crap off nobody.

So there you go; the key to determining your company's fiscal health is toilet paper. Thank you.