Wanderlust

Boy, am I out of sorts today. The day started with me getting in to work late due to waiting around the house for someone to come around to give me an estimate on replacing the flooring in the kitchen and dining room at home. I should've just stayed home, as getting in late always throws me and my day off. And it's no comfort to know that the builder who constructed our house used the cheaper pressboard flooring instead of the sturdier plywood sheeting (the cheap bastard!). What that means is that the raison d'etre for staying home this morning was all for naught, as we can't have the flooring that we wanted put down without some additional work on the floor itself.

What's bothering me today is more than just that, and that realization smacks me as I sit here watching the interior of a century old building age before me. I've written about this before, so I'm writing about it again. Every now and again the latent, creative side of me rears its ugly head, wanting to get out and do something, anything, to satisfy that urge. And that urge is hitting me again. I do like my job and the people I work with, so don't misinterpret my comments to the contrary. But sometimes it's truly agonizing to sit at a desk all day, working on a computer, running the administrative show around these parts. Today is one of those days. The weather's not that great, but I'd rather be off taking pictures and practicing my digital photography skills. I'm not going to get any better sitting on my thumbs here at my desk, that's for damned certain. I guess it's a career mid-life crisis. My job has a lot of perks and cushy stuff that go with it that I really like, but it also has a shelf life--the odds are against me advancing in this department and school, and I doubt I'll be getting any promotions in job title any time soon. I've applied for three new jobs recently on campus and gotten call backs on all three. I didn't like any of them once I interviewed as they offered fewer creative outlets than what I have now.

There's a chasm right now between what I'd like to be doing and what I'm qualified to do. My wife gave me a 55mm-200mm zoom lens for Christmas and, dammit, I want to be outside today (and tomorrow and the day after and the day after that) putting it to good use. But I sit here watching an aging building get older. F*ck.