Slow down you b*stards!

Something about listening to Ministry's "Jesus Built My Hotrod" this morning as I walked to my office has motivated me to write another blog entry. It also helps that this morning also presented me with yet another funny and strange occurance to write about.

I don't know if it's the same in your town, but the local police here have taken to placing portable speed detection and warning signs all over the place to let drivers know how fast they're going. In this era of tight local and state government budgets, it's cold comfort to know that the police are foregoing an entire area of law enforcement and using cameras at intersections and detection signs instead. Let's face it: Krispie Kreme and Dunkin Donuts should be part of the local government and complete the local government's quest for inefficiency. But who knew that the local police would take a page from the Vatican's playbook and try a little Catholic Guilt on unsuspecting motorists?

For the lucky majority who are exceeding the speed limit, their speed flashes on the sign's display to ensure the eyes of a driver are distracted from the road. Now to me, the flashing sign seems like a very bad idea. You already have somebody driving over the speed limit, now let's do something to take their eyes off the road? Working for a state government agency I know that what looks good on paper oft times turns out to be a really retarded idea once it's enacted in real life.

This morning after dropping off my daughter at her summer camp, I head off to the store to pick up some carpet cleaning supplies. I knew the route I had chosen would take me right past one of those Guilt Mongering Monuments to Catholicism speed warning signs. At this point I should point out that I was raised Catholic, so I know what I'm talking about. As I rounded a slight bend in the road, the sign began flashing "38." I looked down at my odometer and sure enough that was me. There was a brief sense of accomplishment (probably the only time today I'll experience that sensation) as I crushed the 35 mile per hour speed limit. Then I noticed that the sign suddenly had gone blank for a second, and then displayed "6." Huh? 6? The radar in the sign had detected the speed of the girl jogging on the sidewalk in front of the sign. Excellent! No wonder why Americans are getting fatter; who wants to go for a walk or run when there's a risk they'll be nabbed by one of those police speed warning signs? Who wants to live with that kind of guilt? Not I, that's for certain!